telling me what I need to know

Something I noticed is when I'm lacking to do something, then it seems there will be a lot of lessons all close together having something to do with what I'm lacking.

In the beginning of January, after the car accident, I was having problems with a fellow member. They were taking what happened, skewing it to something much worse and spreading it to other people. I got really mad and decided to go off on them via text message. I didn't really feel better afterward. I insisted to myself that I was justified in what I had done. Then a lot of the lessons at church started having something to do with forgiveness. Loving everyone, even those that are hard to love. I recognized that I needed to make things right with the member. When I thought about doing that, I would be reminded of why I had gotten mad and then I followed that and stayed mad. Thinking no, my anger and frustration is justified.. she was wrong and I'm right, etc. Then on Sunday, January 29th, I had suddenly got the feeling that I needed to make things right. I was going to walk over to her, but there was others with her and I didn't want others around. After church, I had stepped into ward council momentarily for a blessing. Then afterward, I was heading off to choir when the woman was coming down the hallway. I felt, this is my chance. There wasn't anyone else around and I stopped her and apologized. She accepted it and things were fixed. I felt such a weight being lifted off me. Later on that day, I had a meeting with the Bishop and he offered me to be set apart as a ward missionary. I have the feeling that one linked in with the other.

Recently I haven't been too good at reading the scriptures. I was really good about it when I was working and the effects felt great. But since I lost my job, I have kinda stopped reading as often. I don't quite know why.. I just haven't been on it as much. Well, it seems a lot of the lessons at church seem to focus on reading the scriptures and the benefits of it and the consequences of not. More than usual. It didn't really hit me until last night at outreach and we were teaching a lesson. Lehi's dream was brought up, broken down and it was drawn out. How holding on to the iron rod is reading the scriptures. If you let go of the iron rod, you get led off into the darkness. I don't want that to happen.. I don't want to revert. It would be nice to feel as close to the Spirit and stuff as I had felt when I was reading everyday and stuff. I'm willing to bet that if I get back to reading and make a point of it like I used to, that things in my life would improve.

I'm thankful that we are shown what we need to improve on. The benefits of following. The consequences of  not. I'm thankful for repentance and the atonement. For their love and that They don't want us to fall away, so we're shown what we need to do. Then its up to us to follow through.