July 2012

July was quite a month. My patience and faith have definitely been tested.


As some of you may know, I was in another car accident with my mom on July 4th. It was worse than the previous two. I was preparing to turn left across 2 lanes. Very heavy traffic. A truck on the inside lane stopped. I couldn't see around the truck, I waited, they waived me to pass. I started to go and as I was crossing the outside lane, we were smashed into by a much larger truck. The passenger side of my car is partially crunched in.

Thankfully, my mom wasn't injured. Injuries sent me to the hospital twice. I went the night of the 5th because I couldn't move my neck or back. Then I had to go again that Saturday - I think, it might have been that Friday - because I was unable to walk. My neck, back, and left knee were sprained.


Upon inspection of my car, where we were hit, was in the best possible spot of the passenger side. The vehicle hit the frame. If I had been slower, the vehicle would've crashed into my dented wheel well, who knows what that would've done to my tire/axle. If I had been faster, the vehicle would've hit the passenger door head on. I don't like to think about the results that could've caused. 

Although the car accident happened, and it sucked, He was still protecting my mom and I. He made it as light as I believe he reasonably could. 



"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness" - Isaiah 41:10


"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint" - Isaiah 40:31


I found that out quite literately Thursday, July 5th. Part of the reason I was with my mom was there was some important stuff that she needed to be able to go do and I was taking her.  After that accident the previous day, I was able to move around and walk while I was helping her. Once we were back at home and I was done, I was no longer able to move. A lot of times I would say, "I don't know how I was able to do that" and other variations. He made it happen. He lifted me up and made me move. I shouldn't have been able to walk or drive, move period. After, I wasn't able to. He is the only one who can make the not possible, possible. I needed to be able to help my mom so He willed it to happen.


After that I was not able to drive for about 2 weeks. I was not able to walk without the assistance of a back brace, left knee bandaged, and crutches for about 3 weeks.


I had three goals for July. One, to be able to walk on my own without any assistance by my birthday which was on July 28th. Two, I really wanted a birthday party. Three, I wanted to go to the Temple on my birthday.


I had been trying to plan a party for my birthday. It wasn't going all that well. When it was announced that there was an endowment session at 5pm that night. I was so bummed. One, because no one would be able to come, and two because I can't go to endowment sessions yet.


About mid-July I think it was, It was announced that there would be a 6am baptism session on July 28th. I was so excited! I was determined to go, bandaged or not. I was still very scared to drive. That morning I got up at 3-3:30am and got ready and left at 4:30am. I had estimated there would be traffic. There wasn't any. I got to the Temple at about 5:00am and hung outside for a bit. I hadn't been to the Temple without the sun being up in months. I still remember the awe, peace, and joy I felt. I didn't know the Temple would be open that early in the morning. I sat inside the preparation room for the remaining time. Jittery and bouncy, doing my best to be reverent. No one else showed up for the baptism session until 6:00am when another girl that shares her first name with me came. It was great to be able to help another family with names. I have all my female names done for now. It was great.


I had given up on having a party. Due to the car accidents on 6/17 and 7/4, I wasn't able to try and start work any sooner than August. It was hard to deal with, but something I had accepted. I had signed up to feed the missionaries on the 27th. I started to invite a few friends over to join in and have a small birthday dinner. The small birthday dinner turned into the birthday party I wanted. It was awesome and so much fun! I was so happy that it turned out.

I was really scared to drive. I had been hearing a lot of cracks about how I shouldn't drive on holidays because the 3 accidents on holidays. Too many people seemed to act like what was happening to me was some sort of joke. That me being injured was too regular of an occurrence and that it was my doing. I can't remember who all it was. It got real old, real fast. The first part of this year was really rough. Anyway, I just wanted to say that in case anyone who reads this is one of the ones who made fun at my expense.

I decided to test how I'd be able to get along with the crutches and bandages out in public. A friend of mine picked me up for outreach on Thursday, July 19th. I got around alright. I settled that I'd be able to get around like that on my birthday if all else fails.



My first time driving after the beginning of the month, was kind of nerve racking. It was on Saturday the 21st. I wanted to test myself. I drove to Target without any bandages, crutches, etc and brought my brother with me in case my neck locked up. I did alright driving, walking wasn't happening yet. That was a move forward and a setback in one.

On Thursday, July 26th, was my first time outside without crutches. I was able to get around alright with just my knee bandaged and my back brace on. I felt like that was a real accomplishment.

That Friday, the night of my party, because I was just outside my apartment complex, I decided that I would try and go outside without any braces or bandages. I moved around just fine. I was so happy!

Then the day of, July 28 I was able to walk, move around, drive. Everything was normal. I wasn't in any pain. Again, something I had given up on being able to do. Then when it came down to it, I was able to.

Something I find interesting is, I hadn't prayed for help with any of my goals. I don't know why I didn't. Not really anyway. I guess I had given up hope on them enough to not bother to ask. It goes to show, to prove that He loves us so much! That He cares about us. That what we care about and want, He cares about as well. I had heard about it, but I guess never really put much into it.


I kind of want to end this entry with is never give up hope. Never give up on faith. A little faith goes a long way. I've learned so much, I've grown so much in these months of trials. My knowledge of Him is greater. My faith in Him is so much stronger. It wasn't real weak to begin with, but its much stronger now. I am more patient. Or at least I try to be. Its a struggle and an ever work in progress, but its getting there.

He knows what is best. We don't. The sooner that we can give it up and follow along and not try to do it all on our own, the sooner He can be there, help us, and bless us.