the first testimony I ever gave! - 6/22/11

I have always been the quiet girl in the corner, hiding underneath baggy clothes, and a persistent frown on my face. My nickname was little black rain cloud. Since finding the church, that has completely changed. I talk a lot more, sit with other people, and smile. I always used to be teased because I wouldn’t smile. Teachers, classmates, random people on the street would ask me why I never smile. My answer was always, I didn’t have a reason to. But now I have plenty of reasons to and it feels really good.

I’ve been able to give up my crutches. Things, substances, actions I thought I needed to find happiness. Took pain medication until I went numb, sometimes drinking until I fell asleep, going out on a lot of random dates. Anything I thought that would fill that void. They’ve lost their effectiveness and now I don’t need them at all. All I need is to have faith and attend church to be happy. Such a simple answer, but sometimes so hard to find. I never thought that I would know any sort of true joy. I was always under the misconception that I didn’t deserve it. I will always be thankful to know that is not true. It is because of having faith in our Heavenly Father and Christ that I get to know the truth.

I have learned that genuinely nice people do exist, happy that it is not a myth. I have learned that I don’t have to worry about getting judged or looked down upon by other people. I have learned that it doesn’t matter who I was or what I did. Only who I am and what I do now. I have learned what it is like to have real friends. I have learned what it feels like to have family.

I’ll never forget the day that the voice in my head told me to find out more about the church. So I filled out the missionary request online. I am very glad that I decided to listen to it. Even though I knew pretty much nothing about the church. Took it on pretty much faith alone and I am very glad that I did.

I’ll never forget the night I met the missionaries and when those guys started the process of changing my life for the better.

I’ll never forget when I was baptized and the sheer elation I felt. How it felt like my birthday and that it has given me a new lease on life, I’m running with it.

I’m thankful for all the blessings I’ve been given. For the people I’ve met. For deciding to still live and be here now, when I thought I had so many reasons to give up. Endure until the end. I am so glad that I didn’t opt-out early. I’ve learned I would have missed out on so much. I never thought that I’d say that I’m happy to be alive. But I really truly am. In a sense, finding the church and developing faith has helped save my life.

I am thankful for the second chance I’ve been given. Thanks to Christ atoning for our sins and giving us the opportunity to repent. I no longer have to deal with the huge pile of regret that had been eating away at me. As long as I never do those things again and I know I never will.

On a quick side note that I thought was pretty amazing. I believe the Holy Spirit helped me write this. I probably could have shot from the hip, but I don’t like feeling unprepared. While writing I could feel its influence with the words coming to my head and the process going smoothly. I didn’t have to stop and think about what I was going to say. I just wanted to share that because I think its super cool.

I know that the church is true, that God is our Heavenly Father, and that Jesus Christ is our redeemer and savior. I give this testimony to you in the name of Jesus Christ

Amen.